Saturday, December 21, 2013
The My Little Pony Abomination: What Is a Bronie and Why They Make God Cry
Much has been written about My Little Pony and the evils that it has unleashed on Man kind. Most notably it turns men into pink wearing butt slapping sodomites. But who would want to turn normal, average, every day men into anus craving abominations?
GAYS!
It isn’t enough for those sexual deviant abominations to run around wagging their filthy sin sticks like dogs in heat, they have to have us accept who they are and what they do. They want us to accept them as normal and to give them the same rights as you and me. I tell you if they can’t get it then they are willing to do what it takes to turn the rest of us into ungodly freaks just like them!
That’s right. Now the Gay Agenda is taking it a step further. They have to turn normal God fearing men into butt clenching, hip thrusting sodomites. And WE Men are just the first step. They wont stop until all Men, Women, children, and even animals want to butt bang fornicate. Trust me America, they will probably even try to figure out how to make plants gay. Are you sick yet? I know I am.
But what is SO disgusting, sickening and so insidious is that this time they are using a cartoon to do it. Cartoons are supposed to be the domain of wholesome godly entertainment for children. A safe respite from the storm of sin outside the walls of the christian home. But they are using this against us. Cartoons are supposed to teach Boys to be Men and girls to be women.
New Facebook Trend:Visually Bragging About Poverty
When I was a kid people didn’t brag about how poor they were, mostly because it was something to be ashamed of. Do you think that Pollock family down by the train tracks that wore burlap sack shirts to school came bragging about how poor they were? Do you think their father went to the town park and held up signs fussing about how the rich people in town were to blame for him and his family living in poverty? No.
UK Man Disciplines Emo Gamer Teen
After Susan B. Xenu’s insightful emosexual related articles we had a plague of rude emosexuals that flooded our holy site and posted all sorts of rude comments. I am sure we all came close to losing control with them once or twice, so it is easy to see why one would decide to personally teach them a lesson about proper behavior. That is just what one man in England recently did.
Alabama Wants to Send Criminals to Church, ACLU Says NO.
BAY MINETTE, AL (AP) – This wonderful town in south Alabama wants to do something about prison over crowding. They have come up with a great idea for how to keep massive amounts of Blacks and Mexicans out of jail. They want to sentence non-violent offenders to church. “Great” I say.
Starting next week, the program will allow city judges to sentence misdemeanor offenders to work off their sentences in jail and pay a fine, or go to church every Sunday for a year. Offenders who select church can pick the place of worship but must check in weekly with the pastor and the police department. If the one-year church attendance program is completed successfully, the offender’s case will be dismissed.Liberal Atheist Jay Leno harrasses Michele Bachmann
Known liberal atheist TV host Jay Leno had Michele Bachmann on his show late last week. Many of you know that Michele Bachmann is a leader of the Republican Party and will possibly be the next President and Leader of the Freeworld.
She is also a good christian, she and her husband run a clinic that treats homogays where they help the gays over come this disease that they have afflicted theirselves with. But Mr. Leno decided to mock her and her husbands glorious work.
He questioned her about it and dares compare the choice of being a homosexual abomination to being born left handed.
Friday, December 20, 2013
Mad Scientists Create Feline Abomination to Cure Homogays
From time to time Christwire likes to bring you scientific news, and boy oh boy have I got some for you now. One of our favorite scientific trends that we like to track is scientific perversion of GOD’s very intelligent design into twisted abominations. Well I just learned that CNN is reporting that mad atheist scientists at the Mayonnaise Clinic are once again at work creating test tube abominations.
I’m in your house, glowing.
This time they are doing it to cure AIDS patients. Say what you will about AIDS but we all know that God cooked it up and gave it to the gays in the 80′s to punish them for being abominations unto him. The bible says that…look it up.
Well now the Dr. Frankenseins are taking a cat and sticking in some monkey DNA. The monkey genes are known to block FIV infections, which is similar to HIV in humans. That’s right. Cats have their own version of AIDS, God hates cats so much he gave them their own version of AIDS.
I can has explanation for why your made me a freak?
But the mad scientists arent done there, they then placed jellyfish genes in the cats for “tracking purposes” which made the resulting kittens glow green. Because why put an orange collar on the cat when you can just screw around with it’s DNA, and make it even more of a freak?
These so called scientists disgust me with their sick and twisted perversions of Gods ideal. But they are so happy with theirsleves, they say that early tests show the kittens’ modified cells kept FIV infections from spreading. We’ll see what GOD has to say about this.
A Decade of Nickleback, Praise the Lord.
It was a sad moment in history a decade ago. Terrorists came to our country and murdered thousands. America was grieving. But luckily for us there was a bright star for all of us.
on September 11th 2001, the great christian music band Nickleback released their debut studio released album “Silver Side Up”. Although originally born as communist canadians they soon took to American capitalism and sold millions upon millions of albums, making themselves millions and millions of dollars. The album reached #1 in Canada, Austria, Ireland, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. The album was certified Platinum 8 times over in Canada, Platinum 6 times over in the US and 3 times Platinum in the Britain.
It also introduced us to such pleasant and spiritually up lifting songs as:”How You Remind Me”, “Too Bad” and “Never Again”, as well as seven others. In a time when we are inundated by horrible demon screeching heavy metal emo dubsteper music, Let us all take a moment to remember this wonderful band and their wonderful message
.
Todays Forecast = Sodomy with a Strong Chance of Death
Maumelle, Arkansas – KARK 4 News weatherman, Brett Cummins has had the party of his life. On Monday, Cummins went to a party thrown by John Barbour around 11 at night. He was accompanied by “friend” Dexter Williams.
“They then began to drink and use illegal narcotics,” the Investigating Officer said Barbour told him. “Mr. Barbour stated he was not sure of the drugs that they were using but that they were snorting them.”
Two hours later, the police said Cummins and Williams got into the Jacuzzi to have a drink, and Barbour later joined them. Barbour said he left the two and went into the living room, where he fell asleep on the couch. He woke up around 8 a.m. Tuesday and could hear Cummins snoring. He then began to gather glasses in the bathroom and wake up Cummins before realizing Williams was dead.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
‘Track My Chick’, Subdermal GPS Tracking Unit for Spouses
The Track My Chick chip.
Two recent college graduates have just launched a program that will revolutionize the way you track your significant other.
Ron Biggs and Jeremy Johnson, both of Troy Michigan met at MIT where they were both grad students in engineering. They became fast friends and soon realized that like most men, they could not trust their women to not cheat. They soon invented Track My Chick.
Track My Chick is a subdermal GPS tracking unit, similar to the technology in your cellphone. The product comes in a kit with the tracking chip, a large syringe, tracking software and instructions.
Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger to Wed. Will Offspring Be Musical Anti-Christ?
I have for a long time been a fan of the Canadian supergroup Nickleback. So it brings me great joy to hear that the lead singer of that group, Chad Kroeger has anounced his engagement to pop punk rock star Avril Lavigne.
The couple made this anouncement in’Hello! Canada.’ it seems that the couple have kept their romance secret for the last four months. They met working on her upcoming album back in February. Kroeger who is 37, proposed to Lavigne who is 27, on August 8th.
“I knew I was falling for her,” Kroeger described to the magazine of their studio sessions. “It was incredibly powerful and something I’ll never forget.”
But with any popular stars there is always backlash and jealousy to such a union of happy talented people. many people have taken to social media outlets, Facebook and Twitter to insult the couple, and to imply that some sort of Canadian musical Anti-Christ will be spawned from their union.
This is just bull hockey.
How could anything ugly come from the union of such beautiful people?
L.L. Cool J. Stops Robbery in His Own House.
Don’t call it a comeback…former rapper L.L. Cool J heard a noise in his house last night around 1 a.m this morning, when he went to investigate he discovered a robber. He didn’t need his momma to tell him to knock him out. He did it on his own.
While he was slapping around the robber, his daughter called the police. It turned out that the robber was a 58 year old homeless white man. The man has been charged with burglary.
Today, Rhett Usry, a representative for the former rapper an current subpar actor released a statement that said ”LL Cool J, and his family, are safe and thank everyone for their thoughts and concern…”As a father, husband and citizen, he is committed to keeping his family safe and is cooperating with authorities on this private matter,” Usry said. “LL Cool J, and his family, are safe and thank everyone for their thoughts and concern,” his spokesman.
Faced with a Black or a Mormon, Some Conservatives Consider Cloning
Originally posted by Chuck D. Finley - on Jul 9th 2012 on dailybleach.com
This summer and fall Conservatives are faced with making a hard, nay nearly impossible choice, who to vote for. Typically conservatives vote Republican, but this year the republican is a Mormon.
Mormons are typically confused for Christians but are merely a cult. The other choice is to vote for a black man that has destroyed America. A black man that as President, first decided to besmirch the White House with a Basketball Court and then plotted to ruin the American Healthcare system, by raping it.
Magic Mike Movie Leads To Injuries and Maulings
There is a new soft core porn movie out there called Magic Mike. It is a movie that reveals a look into the secret world of male strippers, and revealing it is. So revealing it turns out that many American women are getting worked up and taking their sexual frustrations out on the unsuspecting public.
The movie came out just days ago and already there have been several incidents around the country. In Cincinnati, one man was mauled by women coming out of the movie while he was going in to watch the sci-fi movie Prometheus.
Monday, December 9, 2013
5 Finger Death Punch: Hard Core Rock or Anal Sodomy Dub Steppers
5 Finger Death Punch: Hard Core Rock or Anal Sodomy Dub Steppers
-Chuck D. Finley
-Chuck D. Finley
Five finger death punch. As a man of the 70′s and 80′s this makes me think of kung fu movies from my youth. A special death punch that a wily yellow squinty eyed Asian delivered to to the chest of his opponent. The loser of the battle steps back and realizes that the death blow has been delivered. He begins to quiver, then convulse, and then dies, just like the soul of a post coitus’ed anal dabbling homogay.
But the 5 finger death punch under discussion today is neither the death punch of a oriental or the butt punch of a gay. Today we are discussing a heavy metal band. 5FDP as they like to be known as, was formed in 2005 in the hot bed of sin known as Los Angeles, Ca. They have had two albums, “The Way of the Fist” released in 2007, and “War Is the Answer” released in 2009. Their next album “American Capitalist” will be released in October.
Burning Man 2011: A Communist Hippie Sodomy fest or “Rites of Passage”
Burning Man: A Communist Hippie Sodomy fest or “Rites of Passage”
-By Chuck D. Finley
-By Chuck D. Finley
Black Rock City, Nevada – Somewhere in the isolated desert of Nevada, two men are having unprotected uncontrollable gay sex. While this may not be surprising to some, what you do not know is that they are have this sinful carnal knowledge of each others anuses, in the middle of the street. Some walk by oblivious or even uncaring of what is happening. Some watch as it happens, others take photos and video on cell phones and digital cameras to share with their friends on the twitters and facebook. This may sound shocking to you but it isn’t to the freaks and perverts that call this town home for one week out of the year. At this sinful fest of carnal sin delights there are no bounds, no social norms. These are the every day events that occur in this town, can you imagine what happens in the tents and close doors of this town? All while a giant wooden statue of Satan stares down at them condoning and nodding appreciation for their evil sinful deeds.
This is Burning Man.
Arise, Ronald Reagan Arise!
I grew up with G.I. Joe in the 1960's, and was more than happy to buy my boys all of the little 3 inch tall heroes that I could. I wanted them to know that fighting for our country was an honor. They loved watching the cartoon that came on as well. It was pretty good, at times I would watch it myself. I remember one episode where the G.I. Joes enemy known as Cobra Starship decided to genetically create their own new leader. They traveled around the world taking DNA from some of the worlds most famous, dangerous, and blood thirsty dead leaders. Obviously at the time it was all cartoon science fiction.
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